i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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