Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
