Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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