Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
