But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
