"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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