hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
