saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
