i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
