FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
