I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
