T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
