Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
