I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
