Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
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