I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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