well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
