I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
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