you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Just high enough for therapy.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
