Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
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