Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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