can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Randomize
