We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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