So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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