My friends, they love my intelligence
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
This baby is an asshole
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
