this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Can I color on your dick again?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
