For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
