We won't sleep together?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My pussy is not your playground.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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