You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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