I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
