Do you still have your period?
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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