There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
