my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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