Dual....:-)
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
