Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize