There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
