I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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