Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize