She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
