That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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