oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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