Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
