Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
This baby is an asshole
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Randomize
