Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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