I accidentally burped into my bong.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
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