this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
