It's just like the Real World with babies
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
