I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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