he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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