there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
