Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
