Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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