So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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