White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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