I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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