Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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