she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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