I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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