Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
tell me about the eggs
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
