I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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