They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
